It was long distance.

I was cautious.

He was convincing.

We fell head over heels in his beautiful coastal city.

I said things like, you make my heart skip a beat.

He said things like, everything in my life brought me to you.

In 48 years and many relationships, long term, short term I had never fallen in love like this…. from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.

We hiked to the top of giant mountains.

We made up stories about old couples in restaurants.

We fell down laughing at least once a day.

We did not leave the bedroom for three months.

We tell each other everything.

He called me twice a day for a year and a half.

I met his family.

He met my family.

Suddenly without warning he said he was done.

He sent me notes saying how hard it was…

A month after we broke he started dating a girl with my name and she was my doppelgänger.

They lasted four months and broke up…

He told me that he was a disaster…. we held each other…. then I gave him space to come back… with some sex here and there.

I was in it for the long game.

The following is my long game:

7 eBooks on how to get your boyfriend back

5 books on how to move on from heartbreak

2 ashrams

3 psychics

2 healers

293 yoga classes

986 down dogs

5 Eckhart Toile Audio Classes

7 dresses

14 pairs of shoes

7 letters to Oprah

1 yoga retreat

1 witch doctor

2 voodoo dolls

1 Juice cleanse

2 almost boyfriends

2 nights of bad sex

47 Ambien

57 Xanax

3 Magic Brownies

84 nights of Valerian Root

97 Melatonin cocktails

20,002 sighs

900 pieces of chocolate

9 nights of good sex with my ex (him)

37 prayer candles

Eight million tears

5000 hopeful thoughts

6048 hours of my life

And then came the text….

I’m sorry I hung in there so long.