Because I Am A Little Broken Inside

Sometimes the edges come out 1

A Simple Apology

Truths that haunt.


How To Apologize and Mean It

How to apologizeDuring stressful times, anyone can accidentally say or do something to hurt someone’s feelings.

The good news is there are some simple things you can do to repair the relationship.

The most effective way is to apologize.

Below, I will share with you how to apologize and mean it.

Make it genuine. 

Anyone can spot a backhanded apology and it will do more harm than good.

For example, “If I offended you, I apologize.” is a fake apology: It’s like stealing someone’s wallet, and saying, “I’m sorry if you felt you were inconvenienced.”

A genuine apology is aimed solely at taking responsibility, not implying that the other person is somehow at fault.

Know what you’re apologizing for.

“I’m sorry” means absolutely nothing if you don’t know what you are apologizing for.

If you don’t already know, ask the person.

There’s a huge difference between saying, “I’m sorry,” and, “I’m sorry I made fun of your new haircut. It was insensitive of me, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Don’t make excuses. excuses

Excuses push the blame onto someone or something else, and it weakens the apology.

Sure, a brief explanation may help understanding, but if you are busy explaining why you did what you did, it will start to sound like you aren’t apologizing at all.

Back what you say with what you do.

An apology is an admittance of wrong-doing, not a free pass to do it again.

In fact, if you can’t commit to changing the action or words you’re apologizing for, don’t apologize.

“Sorry I kept you waiting so long,” will be a hollow and ineffective apology if you keep doing it.

You’re better off thanking the other person, “Thanks for your patience, I appreciate it.” and taking it from there.

youApologize for them, not for you.

The mistake many people make when apologizing is that they expect forgiveness.

This is not about you; it’s about the person you hurt.

Some people will behave indifferently, some will behave coldly, and some will react in a downright hostile way.

You can’t get angry or defensive.

If the person declines your apology, you have to let it go and realize it’s their prerogative.

If you apologized sincerely, you have done all you can do.

13-Year-Old Apologizes to Parents

does-an-apology-mean-sorry1I like to apologize to my parents for everything I did that was not pleasing to you. You have given me everything that I have ever needed including your unconditional love. I don’t know how I could ever repay you. I love you both and thank you for you wisdom, advice and love.



Not A Day Goes By That She Doesn’t Think Of Her Daughter

ultrasoundNovember 15, 2010

I have not written to you in a couple of weeks and I am so very sorry. Since the last time I wrote you, I had an ultrasound and you were doing really great. Your heartbeat was super strong. It sounded beautiful and tears just streamed down my face. Your heart was beating 176 beats per minute. The nurse said you looked perfect. I didn’t want the ultrasound to end. I loved seeing you and hearing your heartbeat. I have never felt such joy.

Today my heart is forever broken. You are still in my tummy but your beautiful little heart is still and silent. You are now in Heaven. I am devastated. I have never felt such intense pain or grief in my entire life. You were my miracle, my hope, my grace and my whole heart. 

Mommy has so much more to say to you but I can’t find the words right now. I pray you are safe and in the arms of a sweet angel. Today is the saddest day of my life. They gave me your pictures today. You are so beautiful. I will carry you in my heart forever. You are my heart.

I love you forever,


November 15, 2011. 

I am so very sad. Do you know how much I miss you and long for you? The pain I feel is beyond any I have ever known. I grieve you every passing second.

That horrible day plays over and over in my mind. I will never forget the nurse looking at me and saying that your heartbeat was gone. She shut off the machines and told me she was sorry. I was all alone. I sobbed and screamed out but there was no one listening. I had to get dressed and walk out into a waiting room filled with pregnant mothers that were waiting to see their babies. The nurse handed me your pictures and told me someone would come to get  me. I was told that I could either have surgery that afternoon or go home and wait to deliver you on my own. I was in shock. I was alone. I was frightened. My Doctor told me that she recommended surgery. I nodded okay. 

I fear the ultrasound was wrong. I feel in my heart it was. I have nightmares about it. What if you were still with me? I am so sorry my sweet baby. I wish I could go back to that day and change everything. I would give everything I own for you to still be with me. I am tormented by the constant thought that I killed you. Waking up from surgery and looking down at my blood soaked gown was horrific beyond words. The nurse said that I just cried for an hour saying, “my baby is dead”. I came home that night and laid in bed for a week. I felt truly dead. 

I will love you for all eternity. My greatest prayer for the rest of my life will be that I get to hold you in Heaven one day. I pray you are safe and loved and know how much I love and miss you.


November 15, 2014.

Not a day goes by that you are not in my constant thoughts and in my heart. These last four years have been the worst of my life. I carry so much guilt and shame and my heart is so burdened with the secrets I carry. It is my fault that you died. I am so sorry that I could not protect you from him. I am sorry that I married him. I am sorry that he was your Father. I am sorry that I didn’t leave him before this happened. I am sorry I couldn’t break away from him. I fought him with every ounce of my strength. I begged him to stop. I screamed at the top of my lungs ” Please don’t hurt my baby” but he was too drunk to care. I am so terribly sorry. 


Warning: Hilarious & Heartbreaking – Woman Apologies to Almost Everything.

QUORA-Apologies-alt copyI heard this apology at a story telling show called Rant & Rave in Los Angeles, CA.

I have probably heard somewhere near 1000 stories in venues like this in my lifetime.

This ranks in the Top 5 without a doubt.

As cliche as it sounds, prepare to laugh and cry. Well well worth your 15 minutes.

Tanya McClure is a writer and director and an alumnus of The Groundlings Theatre Sunday Company. Which is to say she’s a real humor aficionado. She can make you laugh your balls off, but she can rip your heart out, too. And lately, she’s discovered she’s more into hearts than balls anyway. Take a listen and see what I mean.

Follow Tanya here:      WEBSITE      FACEBOOK      TWITTER


Man Apologizes to Woman Now Married with Child. Wants Her Back, But Cannot Have Her.

woman with babyPlease allow me to ramble, as I haven’t entirely outlined what I want to say.

These things have been on my mind since I saw you. I cannot believe it’s been over 6 years.

First of all, I have never seen you look so amazing.

Your hair and skin looked especially incredible. Physically, you took my breath away. I was not prepared to be taken aback by your beauty when I first arrived. And yes, I snuck some looks at your ridiculously adorable toes. (Those shoes = A+) So, whatever you’re doing, keep on doing it. Your man is a lucky one.

But what was most impressive was your demeanor. You had such an inward beauty and warmth to you, that although I remember that being the case when we were together, I don’t recall it being as bright as it is now. You appear to be incredibly happy and that makes me happy too.

I absolutely LOVE your philosophy about helping your husband (as a team) so he doesn’t have to take a job he hates. I cannot overstate how amazing that is. I often tell people that the only thing a man needs is for a woman to look him in the eye and say, “I believe in you” and to mean it for him to feel like he can conquer the world. I got from our lunch that you would do that in a heartbeat for your husband and that is so very rare. Again, LUCKY man.

Your commitment to your daughter and the way you light up when you talk about her is inspiring.

When we parted ways Friday, it was bittersweet. As I sat across from you at the cafe, it struck me that in almost a year’s time, we’d only ever done that once before. I regret that that was the case.

I know I have apologized to you in the past, but I have learned something else about myself since then that I would like to share.

I have what is labeled an intimacy disorder. It is the core issue underneath my addictive behavior and not something I was thrilled to learn about, though awareness is certainly valuable and I am actively working on transforming that.

Essentially, I can only get so close to someone before putting up a wall and sabotaging the relationship (I know that sounds cliche, but mine runs a bit deeper than the usual)… my forte is creating a scenario where I make it the other person’s fault for things not working out. It’s based in an extreme fear of abandonment and in an effort to control a situation so I don’t get abandoned, I do the abandoning. It is a wily character defect and not something I am proud to admit.

In hindsight, I can see how I kept you at arm’s length even though you were nothing but there for me and you were such a big “believer” of mine. I didn’t know it at the time, but you were really healthy for me and on some level that freaked me out, hence me distancing myself from you. I had only ever been with fairly damaged women. I didn’t know how to relate to you being the exceptional person that you are. And I didn’t know how to get any more vulnerable than I was at the time. I wish I had taken you out more. I wish I had introduced you to my friends. I wish I had the courage to make a leap that would’ve proven to be incredibly freeing and healthy for me by committing to you. Even though I knew all of this consciously, I just didn’t know what was holding me back. Now I do. It doesn’t make it any easier to see you with that knowledge. In fact, in many ways, it makes it more difficult.

I have had a lot of “what ifs” running through my head this weekend and although I do believe that everything happens for a reason, this one is a tough one to swallow right now.

I am not saying any of this to “woo you back.” That isn’t my style. I respect you and what you have built to ever do something like that.

I merely wanted to express my deepest apologies for the half-assed way I related to you years ago and ask for your understanding and forgiveness. I hope it goes without saying, but it has nothing to do with you. It was simply some deep-rooted stuff I didn’t even know existed.

Although my quality of life is eons better than when we were together in terms of my mental, psychological and physical health, the one thing I am actively longing for is connection with a partner who I can only pray is very much like you.

I am sure it will happen one day and I look forward to telling you about it when it does.

With love and respect,

The Old Man in Slippers Who Loves His Applesauce (mainly for hydration purposes).

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