I’m almost sorry for being with you.
After so many one night stands, I thought, “Well, he called back in a timely manner. Why not give it a go.”
At the time, I didn’t realize the thoughtfulness and overwhelming romantic gestures had nothing to do with me. You were in love with the idea of love. You sought admiration. You needed the rush. Boy did we rush. We got engaged twenty-six days later and were married within ten months.
I’m sorry you were such a worthless dick.
You left me seven months later….. over the phone. What a pussy! You cried about how you weren’t worthy of me. (Quite true.) You said you needed to be alone and grow up.
After spending our one year anniversary, eating the top of our wedding cake, with friends, I decided to move on with my life. I found a job, an apartment, and a roommate, 1,500 miles away. Once you found out I had moved on…..you cried and begged and I bought it.
After I took you back, I found out you left me for another woman. You said you were divorced. You became engaged while married to me. Her family even threw an engagement party for the happy couple. How do I know this? It’s not because you came clean. She called me months later once she found out about me.
I’m sorry you continued to be a selfish prick.
I’m sorry I was a glutton for punishment.
I stayed. Maybe it had to do with the multiple times you would show me your gun and tell me you would kill yourself. Maybe it had to do with being molested or the multiple affairs my mother had during my childhood. Perhaps it was due to my father’s five marriages. I don’t know. Maybe I thought I could turn you into a better person or save your life. I was wrong.
You went through our money like water. I would love to say you spent it on me, but I’m sure multiple women enjoyed your generosity. You put us into bankruptcy. You left me both times I was pregnant. Hell. You had women calling to speak to you while I was in the delivery room.
I’m sorry it took me almost nine years to leave your ass.
We just moved into a new home and you actively pursued a job overseas. You left me with a one-year-old and a three-year-old. You also left me with an entire house to unpack. That was the best gift you could give me. It took me months to unpack all the boxes, but five months after you left, I struck gold. I had the privilege of unpacking photos you were too stupid to throw out. These were photos of you with different women. There were even photos of you with their children. And might I say…….They had nothing on me.
I’m sorry I had to announce my intention to divorce you via email.
You called and wrote from overseas, pulling the same suicide nonsense. You were full of shit. My house was peaceful and the kids and I were finally happy. I no longer thought it was my job to stand by you or fix you. You were not my fault or my problem. I didn’t need to be a marriage martyr.
But……I’m only almost sorry I was with you.
I am not sorry for the two beautiful children we share. They helped save me from a joke of a marriage, them and your blatant disregard for our vows.
I’m sorry you still can’t find it in yourself to be a better man.
I’m sorry you can’t be the father the kids truly deserve.
I’m sorry I have to protect their hearts from you.
I’m sorry that eventually, they will discover who you really are.