Monthly Archives: April 2014

A Letter From The Love You Haven’t Met Yet

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Love-LettersDear Future Love of My Life:

I know. I should have written before. Forgive me. But I got the feeling that you were beginning to think I didn’t exist. But I do. And I wanted to let you know that while I might be as elusive as a unicorn grazing in a field of four leaf clovers, I’m close. I’m around the corner, down the street, on Facebook, in your office, at our local coffee shop, a complete stranger. I made eyes at you once on the subway. I saw you across the room at a party. I swiped you right on Tinder. But it’s not our time yet. And I know you’re wondering why.

It’s really not fair that you’ve had to wait this long, or go on blind dates, endure bad sex, settle for meh relationships, feel misunderstood, cry from loneliness, wrap your arms around a pillow as you fall asleep at night. I’m so sorry, my love. You deserve an explanation. So here it goes. It’s taken me a long time to even admit this to myself much less to you, so please know that everything I’ve written here is true.

The reasons we haven’t met yet, in no particular order:

1. I haven’t thrown out the list of things I think you should be.

2. I’m with the wrong person right now.

3. I’m not ready to be loved unconditionally.

4. Since my life isn’t together, I think you’ll reject me.

5. I still believe that drama is a show of love.

6. I’ve been intentionally keeping my head too busy to think with my heart.

7. I need to date more to understand what I do and don’t like.

8. I won’t be able to appreciate you until life has kicked my ass.

9. I’m too focused on my own needs.

10. I don’t know how to create the feeling of home that lives in my heart.

Clearly, I’m not my best self yet. Or even myself—I’m still figuring out who that is. I’m pretty sure even if we did meet, you wouldn’t like me all that much right now. It’s entirely possible that we did hit it off once, and I left without getting your information; or maybe I did get your number and never called because of any one of the above reasons.

Be patient with me, darling heart. Know that I’m working my way toward you. So don’t spend any more time thinking about where I am or am not. Just keep making your life exciting and full, so when we do finally come together, we can bring each other joy, because we are already happy.

I know it’s taking longer than you’d like. It’s a hell of a lot slower than I could have ever imagined. But I’m here. This is me talking to you. And I’m not going anywhere.

Don’t give up on me.

Yours,

In perpetuity,

The Love You Haven’t Met Yet

View the original: here.

Anonymous Apology for Being So Fucked Up

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We received this letter in the mail. No post mark. No return address. No opening or closing salutation.

Apology Letter Photo 2“It may come to you as a shock, but I’ve never done this before. I’m too scared to confront people that I think don’t want anything to do with me.

I told someone really important to me on their death bed about what happened between us, and she told me to make things right. I talked to someone else about it more recently, and she told me that I get to respect your wishes to not contact you and (should) work on forgiving myself. I will probably never see you again and will never hear your side of the story and for that, I hate myself, because I’m pretty sure you hate me now. I was quick to judge based off my own past experiences and you took offense. I guess I had missed the mark completely. Is this the part where I say I’m sorry? I feel like those two words can’t really change much or fix anything.

Apparently, the process of apologizing is to lighten the load on me, so I guess it’s pointless to even write this, and the freedom will come when I start to actually forgive and love myself. The same person who did told me not to contact you also told me to accept the fact that I may die alone and never experience love and that people will then be attracted to that peace within me. God, that idea just seemed even more depressing.

I’ve come to the conclusion, though, that it’s probably best for me to be alone, then to be with someone who loves someone else, or to fall for guys who don’t really care about who I am. Right after things ended, I did get with someone else, and everything I accused you of, was in reality, were the arms that I ran directly into, and that, in fact, wasn’t what you were about at all. I’m sorry I fucked things up. I’m sorry for being fucked up. I wish you nothing but happiness and success, and I’m sorry for causing you even more pain than you were already in at the time.”